
Anyhoo – they keep the cookie dough right next to the yogurt because it has exactly the same target demographic. Hungry people. Who eat live stuff. However, I bought it because I thought it would be nice to bake my kids some cookies, without having to actually, you know, MAKE them. My kitchen would smell yummy without any actual effort. And, I could eat some of it raw, which is the whole reason God invented cookies anyway.
Later in the evening, as my two little scholars sat brightly at the kitchen counter doing their homework with eager smiles and great attitudes, not at all pissed off because schoolwork isn’t fay-er, and not at all wondering WHY they would ever need to KNOW this stupid stuff, and not mentioning a thing about the exciting things that were probably on Dirty Jobs RIGHT THAT MINUTE that they would NEVER get to see, I preheated the oven. I sliced open the dough package, and my knife slit right through the WARNING. On the cookie dough. There was a warning. It went something like this:
WARNING: Cookie dough contains raw ingredients and should not be consumed before baking.
What the?
They effectively told 89.2% of their customers “STOP using this product. You’ve been warned.”
I was going to take a picture of the warning so that you could all see for yourselves, but I pretty much baked 9 cookies and ate half a pound of raw dough and the label is sort of destroyed. However, I’m still here to talk about it, and I think that’s what really matters. No wonder June Cleaver used to make the cookies from scratch. Keeps Big Brother off your back, man.
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