I was watching American Idol with the giant middle schooler last night, and a contestant was asked, "How does it make you feel to see your parents supporting you like that?" Which made me think, "Hey - maybe I should get a job writing questions with really obvious answers for Ryan Seacrest, because that's just moronic." Why not ask, "So - how'd you feel when you had that safe dropped on your foot?" Or, "What were you thinking when your oxygen tank ran out of air while you were 500 feet below the surface?"
Anyway, as I'm writing my cover letter to Randy Jackson in my head (because really, Simon just has short-timers disease and probably isn't even opening his mail anymore) the contestant answered the question.
"It's amazing. To know that my parents support me in my dream is just the best feeling in the world."
To which the giant middle schooler said, "Nice job, dude. You just made a thousand little orphans really, really sad."
And that's when I knew, even though I could really contribute to the teleprompted genius of Ryan Seacrest, my work here is more important.