I don’t really like to talk about politics. I’m a good citizen and all, but arguing about policy with friends or pounding signs into an otherwise healthy lawn has never really appealed to me.
This is different. It’s just too important, and really involves all Americans on a very basic level. From Joe the Plumber to Big Oil, this issue is really at the bottom of all humanity. It affects each and every one of us. But it especially affects my eight year old, and he is the one who brought it to my attention.
Our boy Pete was recently elected to Student Council Representative of the Third Grade (B). That “B” is for his political party, which is Boy. There is also a (G). Apparently, they have very different priorities and thus require separate but equal representation. He’s understandably very proud of his position, and looks forward to weekly meetings over lunch where he’s been issued his Very Own Binder in which he takes diligent notes.
Thus far, the group has organized several spirit days (Wear Your Clothes Backwards!) and has purchased some new playground balls. But Pete has higher aspirations. He wants to solve problems. And, today, I bring to you one of the biggest issues facing his school.
They need way Softer Toilet Paper.
It seems the toilet paper at school is scratchy and (ahem) rather thin. My son argues that students either a) avoid using the facilities, or b) use MORE toilet paper than they would a higher quality, softer version because of the THIN-NESS. He states that softer and thicker toilet paper would be beneficial for the environment AND school budgets, since less would be used. The benefits to his constituency are obvious. And, since he realizes that this year’s janitorial supplies have likely already been purchased, a SOFT THICK TOILET PAPER DRIVE is in order.
Won’t you help the children? A roll or two of the good stuff from a few dozen folks will really benefit the bottom line, if you know what I’m saying.
Please send your extra rolls to:
Bromwell Elementary School
C/O Student council TP Drive
Attention Third Grade Representatives
2500 East Fourth Avenue
Denver, Colorado 80206