However, in the meantime, I just want to let you all know that today I followed a car down the street. A brand new car with the temporary plates on it. A brand new shiny car that probably cost at least $40,000. And the new owner was so pleased with their purchase that they had already personalized it with two very awesome bumper stickers.
The first...a simple and lovely peace sign in a little circle. Ah. What a lovely and timeless bit of graphic design brillance - and a beautiful message to boot!
The second...a little circle with two words in Helvetica. "Want Less."
What the hell, new SUV lady? So...I should want less than peace? Or, I should want less than a new car? Or are you even talking to me? Because really I am pretty sure you have no right to boss me around, especially about wanting, especially because you're pretty much wanting an unattainable world fricking state afterall, and you have a brand new car. Or maybe you're simply describing your own mood...like, "Hey I am totally at peace and I don't have to want anything anymore because now I have a new car."
Either way, you're pretty much an ass, and you're damned lucky my husband didn't let me upgrade to the "Villian Package" at the Toyota dealership, or I'd have rocket launchers in my front bumpers and those totally awesome sawblade things on the side like the bad guys had in Grease, so when I pass you, I'd slice the shit out of your new, peaceful, unwanted car.
OH - but I would like to give total props to the frickin' GENIUS who is SELLING "Want Less" stickers to people. Dude, you ROCK. I bet it's completely awesome to hear people walk by your little sticker store and say, "Oh my God! I want this! It totally conveys my non-materialistic ways and will look awesome on my brand new car!"
You are so funny! I love stupid bumper stickers and making judgements about the drivers of the cars they are on! I just added you to my blogs that I follow so that I can read you whenever you update! Thanks for stopping by today and leaving a comment. I'll let you know if I decide to go to blogher or not. It is looking like no right now. Are you going? Have you gone in past years?
ReplyDeleteBecky
Penne, you're funny. I have that same folder of blog ideas and there is some really, truly funny crap in there. But I can't even get it up right now to write something even MILDLY humorous. Too busy! Too stressed! Aaaaaaaaah! But you-- thanks for the entertainment. And that new SUV-driver is a total hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteSince when did the back of peoples' cars become a message board? FYI, you are a complete loser if all the shit on the back of your car tells your life story. We don't care... Jog off!
ReplyDeleteFor example; an annoying Subaru station wagon I saw the other day... I won't get into the whole Subaru thing. That's too easy. "Proud parents at so-and-so elementary"- (Hey everybody, we have kids!), college alum license plate frame (we're 'educated'), A fish eating the Darwin fish (Hey we're idiots), I don't remember what the other bumper sticker said but I learned that they were married for 10 whole years. Political stickers for 'the guy who didn't win the election'- (hey, we're racist!) Oh yeah, and the soccer ball sticker in the back window (hey! we're teaching our son to be gay!)
Thanks Subaru lady for the life story. I hate you that's why I gave you the bird!