a) no one really looks at me,
b) they looked so ridiculous everyone I knew was embarrassed for me and didn't mention it, or
c) I have such incredible boobs that everyone I know, including neighbors and children couldn't look past them to see my luxurious puppydog/Brooke Shields lashes.
Pretty sure it's A.
So that's why when I considered getting a "Brazilian," I really had to think twice about it. I mean, is it really worth the time and money, and ahem, pain...if no one even really knows about it?
So - I figure - yeah, sure it is. You bet. Dealing with all that curly hair is a daily chore that I just don't have time for. And, if I put it out on the interwebs - people HAVE to notice.
So, without any further ado, the before and after pictures.
BEFORE
It's blurry. I know. Hoping you'll be too distracted by the sequined bulldog to notice. It's smooth enough, but it took 20 minutes, a gallon of product, a hairdryer and a round brush to get it like this.
AFTER
Sort of the same. A little less fluffy, but it only took, like, 3 minutes to dry it straight. Paired with a chartreuse naughty librarian cardigan to distract from the breastillary-region.
So I'm all cool and low maintenance with my Brazilian Blowout now. You knew that's what I meant, right?
People better notice.
PS - you can totally tell my nose is broken, too, but it's okay if you don't point that out.
PPS - I should've cleaned the iPhone lens for that first picture.
PPPS - I should've worn makeup in that second one.
PPPPS - Or eyelash extensions.
Ha! Yep, that's exactly what I thought this blog would be about. (Can you tell from way over there if I am lying?)
ReplyDeleteThe sequined bulldog is seriously distracting.
And I think your face is beautiful as is.
When I saw "Brazilian", I was expecting pictures of another part of you. Imagine my embarrassment when I realized it was your head hair.
ReplyDeleteJust girl to girl? Yes, good boobs!
ReplyDeleteI'm a little disappointed.
ReplyDeleteYou totally look like someone famous in the second picture, only I can't remember right now. And thank you god for not sharing pictures of a Brazilian. But I thought maybe your foreign exchange student got switched with one from Brazil or something, and then I was just really lost because it's about hair. So I like it! But I have no idea what it is. I need to get out more.
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!!!! I say make it a routine! :)))
ReplyDeleteI was all, Yay! Finally somebody is going to talk about getting a Brazilian. Which is something women talk about amongst themselves, but never put out there. I would, but my dad reads my blog. You are a brave woman. For getting one, and then talking about it!Then..the hair. Your head hair! Well, it's just lovely. I do not have curly hair, so I don't know the frustration. But I really like how your hair looks, all sleek and shiny.
ReplyDeleteI also like the sequined bulldog shirt. And yes, you do have nice boobs, too.
Definitely reading this with a 'Seriously, Penne?' 'tude - glad it wasn't Brazilian as I had understood the term...Go with Latisse for the lashes, girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteI have a broken nose, too!
ReplyDeleteI need to send you a pic.
And, so should I do it?
Get the brazilian????