Planning for the future.

Forgive me blogosphere, it's been a week since my last post. But it's not like I've just been sitting around doing nothing. Except for that one day, but that's only because I consumed both fish and beer in one evening, and I've figured out that's a really bad idea. At least for me. Also, I was up and at 'em by like 2:30 and totally did 87 loads of laundry, so shut up.

All the other days, I was busy writing my posthumous Facebook updates.

Lisa, over at Smacksy, wrote this tender little post about her friend of hers on Facebook who died - and it got me thinking. First of all, about a friend of mine that passed away last fall whose profile pops up every now and then in my sidebar and secondly... What would my 173 closest friends ever DO without my witty Facebook banter? Without weekly bulldog updates? Without knowing what I'm wearing, what team I'm rooting for, what 80s rockstar I'm most like?

So, although my will is incomplete and who knows who will be guardians of our children should I suffer an untimely end, I have completed five years of weekly Facebook posts to be published after my death. I'm hoping they'll either cheer everyone up or freak them the hell out.

A few examples:

I can totally see you right now.

I know what you did last night, but more importantly, I know what your spouse did.

Stop picking your nose while you're on the computer.

I wouldn't describe it as "hot" here. It's more like "uncomfortably warm."

Please stop playing Farmtown. Take it from me, you don't live forever! Ha ha!

I'm totally skinnier than you now, bitches!

Uh, guys? Sorry to ruin everything for you, but that whole "rainbow bridge" thing? Not true.

I met your grandpa and he's utterly disappointed in you. Also, he still smells funny.

I've put them on a disk with my login info and stuck it in my closet with all the shoes, because I know that where my sisters will head first upon my demise. I'm always thinking.