Afterall, I am not very familiar with these things you call “words,” their meanings, or usage. It’s mind-boggling to think that I’ve somehow made a very comfortable living as a “writer” for the past two decades without your assistance. I’m sure I would have been found-out as a fraud eventually, but with your help I can continue my evil scam indefinitely.
In any case, I believe your experience as a bartender truly qualifies you to teach me the language, and I greatly appreciate it. I long for the day when you branch out to help me with grammar, and if I’m lucky, perhaps even more complicated topics like efficient paper-clipping.
Say - when you get a minute, why doncha put down the Webster’s, and succinctly bite my ass? That'd be just swell.
- 1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
b: the use or language of sarcasm