Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Wherein I get a Brazilian. And provide photographic evidence.

Earlier this year, I spent an unholy sum of money for eyelash extensions. Not one single person noticed. I determined that either:

a) no one really looks at me,
b) they looked so ridiculous everyone I knew was embarrassed for me and didn't mention it, or
c) I have such incredible boobs that everyone I know, including neighbors and children couldn't look past them to see my luxurious puppydog/Brooke Shields lashes.

Pretty sure it's A.

So that's why when I considered getting a "Brazilian," I really had to think twice about it. I mean, is it really worth the time and money, and ahem, pain...if no one even really knows about it?

So - I figure - yeah, sure it is. You bet. Dealing with all that curly hair is a daily chore that I just don't have time for. And, if I put it out on the interwebs - people HAVE to notice.

So, without any further ado, the before and after pictures.

It's blurry. I know. Hoping you'll be too distracted by the sequined bulldog to notice. It's smooth enough, but it took 20 minutes, a gallon of product, a hairdryer and a round brush to get it like this.

Sort of the same. A little less fluffy, but it only took, like, 3 minutes to dry it straight. Paired with a chartreuse naughty librarian cardigan to distract from the breastillary-region.

So I'm all cool and low maintenance with my Brazilian Blowout now.  You knew that's what I meant, right?

People better notice.

PS - you can totally tell my nose is broken, too, but it's okay if you don't point that out. 

PPS - I should've cleaned the iPhone lens for that first picture.
PPPS - I should've worn makeup in that second one. 

PPPPS - Or eyelash extensions.


  1. Ha! Yep, that's exactly what I thought this blog would be about. (Can you tell from way over there if I am lying?)

    The sequined bulldog is seriously distracting.

    And I think your face is beautiful as is.

  2. When I saw "Brazilian", I was expecting pictures of another part of you. Imagine my embarrassment when I realized it was your head hair.

  3. Just girl to girl? Yes, good boobs!

  4. You totally look like someone famous in the second picture, only I can't remember right now. And thank you god for not sharing pictures of a Brazilian. But I thought maybe your foreign exchange student got switched with one from Brazil or something, and then I was just really lost because it's about hair. So I like it! But I have no idea what it is. I need to get out more.

  5. LOVE IT!!!! I say make it a routine! :)))

  6. I was all, Yay! Finally somebody is going to talk about getting a Brazilian. Which is something women talk about amongst themselves, but never put out there. I would, but my dad reads my blog. You are a brave woman. For getting one, and then talking about it!Then..the hair. Your head hair! Well, it's just lovely. I do not have curly hair, so I don't know the frustration. But I really like how your hair looks, all sleek and shiny.

    I also like the sequined bulldog shirt. And yes, you do have nice boobs, too.

  7. Definitely reading this with a 'Seriously, Penne?' 'tude - glad it wasn't Brazilian as I had understood the term...Go with Latisse for the lashes, girlfriend.

  8. I have a broken nose, too!

    I need to send you a pic.

    And, so should I do it?

    Get the brazilian????



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