Monday, February 22, 2010

J. Crew's email copywriter is evil and must be stopped. Still.

Never content to just let me be (see here) the J. Crew email copywriter has just blasted me and the eleventybillion other people in their database to let us all know that this is "the statement piece OF. THE. SEASON." (Mid-winter? Early Spring? Hockey?)

Apparently, the "statement" is that you've
been playing in your grandmother's costume
jewelry and somehow managed to tangle it all up.

In all fairness, I am not known for my fashion sense and my fine jewelry collection consists of a wedding ring, a Ducks Unlimited watch and a pair of diamond stud earrings I've had in since 1999. Maybe I'm not the right person to consult since my version of accessorizing is wearing chapstick with sparkles instead of the black label kind.

But I'm just thinking the above gnarled macramed twist of materials is not really worth $150. How much of a statement is it, really, if we're all wearing it?  Eventually, it won't be "Have you met my interesting friend Anastasia-Marie? You know, the one with the clever statement necklace?"  But rather, "Oh, her. That's just Joan, that sad woman with the rhinestone-starburst-ribbon-bead-gold chain like everyone else."

My father used to call Ford Mustangs "belly button cars" because "everyone has one."  We can only hope this doesn't become the belly button necklace of 2010. But if it does, I've got a shoebox of "vintage" beads and chains that I'm happy to stir up and sell you for $150.


  1. I've spent the better part of my adulthood trying to wrap my head around the shocking yellow shorts, purple pumps, orange velour jacket I once saw a model wearing in a J Crew catalog.

  2. Okay, any company that continues to insist golf pants with little flamingos embroidered on them has no right to say they are making the "statement of the season."


  3. You'd have to *PAY* me far more than $150 to be seen wearing this.

  4. That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen that cost $150.

  5. Hi Penne, I am linking over from Cupcake's blog! I love your post; I get inundated every day with stuff like this too. Lately my favorite is Williams-Sonoma Home, who apparently market sofas for a mere $7500. And end tables to match for a mere several thousand more! Who buys this stuff?

  6. I'm a big fan of cheap jewelry, not jewelry that looks cheap but is actually expensive. No thanks. Makes me wish I would have taken all that costume jewelry my grandmother tried to give me years ago.

  7. If that's the statement of the season, the individual that decided so has taken way too much acid and should be shot on sight.
    That is hideous.
    It's made with about ten bucks worth of plastic, I'm sure.
    J.Crew, you have no shame, you bloodsuckers.



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