Even though we have a two-plus car garage, only one person gets to park in it because there are no less than four motorcycles, six bicycles, two Vespas and a lawn mower occupying it as well.
Until I got a new car, the lucky indoor parker person has been the Charming Czech, Big Dude.
Big Dude offices from our house, so his truck doesn't leave much, whereas I am a career gal outside of the home and principle go-getter of groceries and offspring, which means for the last half a decade, my vehicle has been parked on the street in front of our house. Susceptible to hailstorms, squirrel attacks and pigeon droppings. This has garnered me all kinds of sympathy and martyr points, at least in my own mind. As I stood scraping the windshield of ice in sub-zero temperatures, I imagined the neighbors all peeking around their curtains, steaming coffee in hand, saying, "My, what hearty stock that woman is! And her husband, the scoundrel! Do you know he parks IN THE GARAGE and he doesn't even GO TO WORK? That poor, poor woman. Have you seen her lug the groceries up the steps? My, but I admire her fortitude."
It's exactly the same reason I like to mow the lawn at least once a year. But only when all the other women are getting pedicures and drinking mimosas. Good for my image.
Now that I have the newest car, Big Dude has given up his garage stall and insisted I move indoors. I'm not particularly sure I like it - not only is it all weird and fluorescenty in there, I've totally lost all my street cred.
I'm certain that the neighbors are all peeking over their newspapers, swirling gin and tonics and saying, "You know, he bought her a brand new car. In THIS economy! And how did she thank him? By making him park on the street! He's such a good, good man. I really pity the dear soul...he's stuck with that ungrateful wench and she's driving around on entitled heated seats like she's some kind of royalty. The bitch probably doesn't even know how to use an ice scraper."
Which is why I'm going to have to mow the lawn at least twice this summer. And I'm thinking of sending Big Dude for a pedicure.